A day to remember

There are a few events in our lives that we know right where we were and how we felt when they happened.  This is one of those days.  President John F Kennedy was assasinated in Dallas, Texas on this date 48 years ago.  My neighbor came to knock on my door and tell me.  I turned on my black and white TV and saw Walter Cronkite cry when he announced "President Kennedy has been shot" and then "President Kennedy is dead."

We all watched as Mrs. Kennedy in her blood soaked pink suit stood nearby on Airforce One as Lynden Johnson took the oath as President. And for days our eyes were glued to the TV as the incredible funeral happened before our eyes, as Oswald, the shooter was shot by Ruby and the horror and shock continued. Then Ruby being shot. I hope that I never see such a thing again in my lifetime. There is no other event I can think of even comparable to it.  Yes, it was personal. Everyone loved him, he made us love ourselves and our country.

One date most of us can remember is where we were and how we felt on September 11, 2001.  That event changed our lives, how we fly, how we feel about being invulnerable and safe here in the  United Stated of America.   Every year we think of all the people who died, their families and how the consciousness of the country changed after being hit by a terrorist.  Even that does not compare to the death of a beloved President to me.
I have often wondered about the paths not taken by this country because JFK was killed.  Of course it is easy to romanticize someone after they are gone. But each year I weep over those possible paths not taken.

In the time of President John F Kennedy we were a country separated by racism, our enemy was "the communists."  In the south racism was overt. In the north it was covert. 
I remember going to a doctor for ear nose and throat. I was shocked to find out he was black and I never went back. When he called me to ask why I had not returned I don't even remember what I said. But I could not tell him "because I have never been to a black doctor before and I am very uncomfortable with it."  I have never told this before to anyone. It shames me still.

Did I consider myself to be racist? Of course not.  My heart was with the black people (I think we were saying "black" then and before that "negro" and now of course "African American" which all black people are not).  They marched carrying signs about housing descrimination near where I lived in north Seattle. I had two little children or, I told myself, I would be out there with them.  I remember the atrocities in the south, the bombing of the chldren in the church, the National Guard escorting the first black students to a white college. All of this while Kennedy was President.  I remember the white students and civil rights workers going south to help the blacks register to vote and to vote. They were beaten and some were killed.

President Kennedy was from a wealthy family, his father Joseph Kennedy from the Irish Mafia they say.  JFK was our first Catholic President (there was speculation back then about his Catholicism like there is now about Romney's Mormonism).  He was from an advantaged background but he was taught to  help those less fortunate and he truly believed in doing just that. When I heard him speak my high school girl self was enthralled.  It was the first time I had ever paid any attention to what was going on in the world or listened to a politician.

Yes, he had flaws, he had Addison's disease and was in pain constantly, taking pills we would not want our president or anyone else we know to take today.  He had affairs or at least "hooked up" with many women. But as a President, as the man we knew then, he was intelligent, well spoken and well meaning. 

"Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country" was only one of many amazing things he said. He wanted to do what was right for the American people and for the world.

If only the candidates running for President today felt the same way.

Here are some Kennedy quotes:

There are those that look at things the way they are, and ask why? I dream of things that never were, and ask why not.

Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.

Don't get mad, get even.

Mankind must put an end to war, or war will put an end to mankind.

Mothers all want their sons to grow up to be president, but they don't want them to become politicians in the process.

One-fifth of the people are against everything all the time.

Man is still the most extraordinary computer of all.

Our problems are man-made, therefore they may be solved by man. No problem of human destiny is beyond human beings.

You know nothing for sure . . . except the fact that you know nothing for sure.

All this will not be finished in the first 100 days. Nor will it be finished in the first 1,000 days, nor in the life of this administration, nor even perhaps in our lifetimes on this planet. But let us begin.


We must seek, above all, a world of peace; a world in which people dwell together in mutual respect and work together in mutual regard.

Moral courage is a more rare commodity than bravery in battle or great intelligence.

When written in Chinese, the word 'crisis' is composed of two characters--one
represents danger, and the other represents opportunity.

Few will have the greatness to bend history itself; but each of us can work to change a small portion of events, and in the total; of all those acts will be written the history of this generation.

The quality of American life must keep pace with the quantity of American goods. This country cannot afford to be materially rich and spiritually poor.

Democracy is a difficult kind of government. It requires the highest qualities of self-discipline, restraint, a willingness to make commitments and sacrifices for the general interest, and also it requires knowledge.

A 91st Birthday

My Aunt Marjorie will have her 91st birthday Sunday the 6th of November.  She has lived alone until a year ago when she went to live with her son Larry who is only 6 months older than I.  Our mothers lived together while our fathers were in WWII.  Our famlies were very close all the time we were growing up.
Then in 1995 when my mother died Aunt Marji was with me in the nursing home where my mom had been for a year since her stroke.  She was with me so much during that time, she was closer to me than anyone else at that time. Here is a picture of my mother and Aunt Marji taken about 1993.

Now Aunt Marji has had problems that caused her to be in a nursing home for 24 hour care. She has osteoporosis and a bone in her neck had broken. She had to wear a collar to keep her head up. Now she had the collar removed and Larry is looking for another place where she can stay for her care, where she can take care of what she can do for herself, which is most everything but her meds and meals.  I remember when Aunt Marji and I were looking for a home for my mom.  My mom was one of seven kids. Marji was the youngest and she is now the only one left.

Sunday is her birthday and I try every year to go see her.  I can only stay a couple days because the snow in the passes are coming any time. I went last year and this year I am planning to go too. It is a long drive but I have some audio books to listen to on the way.  And Larry will take me out again like he did last year and we will dance together and maybe I will meet up with the ex secret service guy I met last year who is Larry's friend. He just had his 55th birthday so he is just my type.

But most importantly at 91 I never know when this birthday may be her last.

Best new show

Since I am retired and don't have money for shopping or traveling, my two favored passtimes, I appreciate really good well written TV shows that make me think and question.  My favorite show right now is Homeland, on Showtime. I only subscribe to Showtime when Dexter is on. Dexter is also very good. But the big surprise was Homeland, about a CIA agent named Carrie, played by Claire Danes, who will surely win an emmy for her portrayal.

Damien Lewis stars as a marine, returned from Iraq after 8 years in captivity. He was believed dead and his wife has taken up with his best friend, both believing he is dead.  But he comes home. He is, however, very messed up.  And Carrie has received first hand info a detainee in I think Afghanistan that "an American POW has been turned."   Carrie thinks it is the newly returned marine and puts surveillance in his home for a while. She also takes medication for a mood disorder. So she is a bit on the edge all the time. So is the marine, understandably.

We watch the returned marine and his wife and kids, who hardly know him, try to pick up their lives. We watch his behavior, his every nuanced look and move, trying to figure out if he is indeed the terrorist. This guy has done some very bad things while in captivity, things he was forced to do by horrific torture.  He does not of course want any of those things known. But is he really a terrorist?

He portrays the war hero for the camera. We see him praying to Allah on a prayer mat in secret. But is he really the POW who was turned?

Then there is the CIA man of thirty years who is Carrie's mentor Saul, played by Mandy Patinken (remember the Princess Bride?). He tries to talk Carrie down from her very intense way of seeing everything. 

The last episode left us wondering WHO is the traitor? Or was this latest act done by a traitor at all? Why was this done? Who did it? It stays in your head.

This show hooks you and won't let go.  I can't wait to see what happens.

My second favorite show is about Zombies, on AMC, called The Walking Dead and was presented last year with only 5 episodes. It was so popular that it is doing 12 episodes this year I think and was the most popular Halloween costume.  It is one that makes you think. What if the whole world went to hell in a handbasket?  What if there were people who were turning into zombies either from a virus or whatever, and they needed to feed on live humans and if they bite you you will also turn into a zombie? You have to stay away from them or kill them. You also have to find food, water and medical care for yourself and the group you are with. It is the ultimate survival show. How would you behave in similar circumstances?

I love shows that make me think, ask questions that maybe have different answers. Or none.

So this is what I have been doing and I had to tell anyone who may read this: If you aren't watching Homeland, the best show on TV, you are missing some high drama.  Same with Walking Dead.  If you have time, and I realize I do and most don't, get with it!