"Disabled" and "Elderly?"

Two dispicable words: Disabled and Elderly. I have to accept "disabled" and am working on "elderly." My mind feels young, so feeling old only comes from my body. And "elderly" sounds so much older than just plain OLD.

There are many kinds of arthritis. I have the enteropathic kind. The kind that doesn't damage your joints. It hurts all over instead of in just a few joints. Osteoarthritis is when the cartilage between your joints and spine deteriorates. Yes, like a car or a vacuum cleaner or any other mechanical device, your body wears out. Like hearts. Only the medical profession can replace your heart. But not your bones or the cartilage between them. Maybe they will learn to grow cartilage someday and bone too. But not in MY lifetime.

I have battled arthritis for 6 years or so. I have tried biological drugs, ibuprofen (Advil), acetamenophen (Tylenol), naprosin (Aleve), hydrocodone (Vicoden) and oxycodone (Oxycontin) with varying degrees of success. But masking the pain doesn't help or get rid of the root problem.

So my doc told me to do back strengthening exercises which will help my bones to support my back better and I guess will prevent further deterioration. OK, I HATE exercise. It is boring BORING BORING!!!

But that night I began the exercises. After going home from the doc's hearing nothing new and feeling depressed enough to feel sorry for myself and cry for myself. So I have to accept the "disabled" label I guess.
Which means I have to continue to live on social security only. It means I won't be making extra money so I can meet my friends for lunch, so I can buy gifts for my grandkids on their birthdays. or just for fun once in a while. It means I won't be traveling anywhere ever again. It means my life is very VERY different from the one I had planned for myself.

But I am alive.